The Journey to Knowing Who You Are

by Neseret on June 7, 2013

Nothing in excess was the second phrase written over the gateway to the temple at Delphi. The first counsel was Know thyself. ~ Ralph H. Blum from The Book of Runes ~

“Who am I?” is a question most of us asks ourselves at one point or another. For many people the answer maybe a long blank space. Perhaps they’ve never considered this question before or they have reflected on it but do not know the answer.

It is a scary thing to come to the realization “I don’t know who I am.”  Feeling lost and confused is not a pleasant experience. There is also a sadness that accompanies  not knowing who you are.

Does it really matter to know who you are and who you’re not?

It certainly does.

As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you – the first time around. ~ Oprah Winfrey ~

Personally I can appreciate this statement because it has been true in my experience. For many years I did not know who I was and didn’t have a good sense of myself. During those years I made a lot of choices that weren’t in my best interest and in the best interest of those close to me.

Not knowing who we really are is part of what creates the feeling of bottomless pit of emptiness. It is a major part of what fuels our neuroses and addictions. It is what drives us to fill our lives with unimportant and meaningless activities and pursuits.

Not knowing who we are is at the heart of greed and scarcity.

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.~ e. e. cummings ~

To know yourself requires you to give yourself permission to think what you think, feel what you feel, and want what you want. It means letting go of trying to “make everybody happy”.

It is not your job to “make everybody happy.” It is your responsibility to make yourself happy. In turn you automatically contribute to the happiness and peace of others.

For most of us though, this is not common sense. We’ve gotten and continue to get  incessant messages that we are not o.k to be who we really are. Most of us are conditioned to believe it is selfish to meet our own needs let alone our heart’s desires.

So, how do we overcome all of these negative programing?

If you can be absolutely comfortable with not knowing who you are, then what’s left is who you are – the Being behind the human, a field of pure potentiality rather than something that is already defined. Give up defining yourself – to yourself and others. You won’t die. You will come to life. ~ Eckhart Tolle ~

How do we find out who we truly are? How do we become more clear about who we truly are? I believe knowing who you truly are and getting a better sense of yourself is a journey.

With each passing day you become stronger, more confident, more assured, and better grounded. You’re able to accept, love, and nurture yourself. You’re able to have compassion for yourself and others.

Knowing who you are starts with the willingness to change. It means to let go of ideas, and beliefs that no longer serve you. It means being willing to surrender who you think you are.

For a time it may feel like sitting in no man’s land of the unknown and uncertainty. It means being willing to live with the fact there are no neat little answers for all of life’s questions and challenges.

It means to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Healing is a journey of getting out of our comfort zone on ongoing basis. The journey to knowing who you truly are demands no less than renewal of your heart and soul. It is a sort of rebirth or reincarnation.

Ultimately knowing who we are means understanding and knowing our infinite nature. It is realizing that we are “immortal spiritual beings having a human experience”.

It is recognizing we are powerful creators of our own reality. It is being cognizant of the truth you are beautiful, magnificent, and wonderful just the way you are.

It is knowing we are all ONE and we are LOVE.

It is enjoying every minute of everyday of this glorious journey we call life. When you know who you are everyday and every moment becomes a gift. You’re able to experience more peace, joy, and love.

Please leave me your questions and comments below. I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Do you feel like you know who you are?  What has helped you get a better sense of yourself? Has knowing yourself better helped you experience life in a more meaningful and fulfilling way?

If you enjoyed reading this article share it on Facebook, and Twitter. Thank you.

Peace, Love & Gratitude,


{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Kathleen June 13, 2013 at 4:02 am

One is in a constant state of change – as we take in information we never had before – it can bring about change in our opinion on a subject, or person, place or thing. Nothing is constant – change is moving us forward whether we choose it or not. Some call it progress – not all agree on how a person arrives @ a thought negative or positive.

Example: In a family one happening viewed by three siblings – number of opinions on it are many or unlikely one universal take. If I’ve learned nothing else about life – life to me is strange. Yes strange. The sayings that stay constant in my world are “Truth is stranger than fiction.”, What is Is!, & last but not least “To thine own self be true.”. Hopefully these will help keep me grounded.

To do the last one , one needs to know their belief system. Mine are simple and have evolved with the passage of time – my trial and errors. I’ve learned many through the school of hard knocks. As my Father commented to me once, “You know you have a choice, YOU don’t have to learn in the school of hard knocks.”. (Maybe it was wishful thinking on his part.) My Father was one of the most intellectual humans I’ve ever encountered – but I must say it’s been a very interesting journey & we all learn in our own peculiar ways – trial & error, hopefully not leaving to many scars on others or on oneself.

My life now is governed by the 10 commandments. Which are common sense thoughts that anyone with a conscious would hopefully follow, & also knowing that we really are our brothers keeper. How nice life could be with just these two simple guides. Yes? No? Guess the Me, Me, Me people would vote NO! Well, Just a few thoughts – mine – Kathleen


Neseret June 13, 2013 at 12:20 pm

Hi Kathleen,

I agree with you on the idea that love is a simple guiding principle. Loving ourselves and others is the key to really knowing who we truly are. Love, acceptance, and compassion heal.

I believe there is a way to learn without pain and suffering. However in the evolution of humanity up to this point most people haven’t yet experienced that fully. Most of us learn by trial and error, pain, and suffering.

It will be nice when we have figured out a way to learn the easy way. A world where we can easily access the peace and love that is within each of us. A world where we don’t have to search for too long to find ourselves.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me. Sending you Light & Love…



Kathleen June 13, 2013 at 9:45 pm

You have the same problem I have – “you want to go to heaven, but you don’t want to die.”.
The EASY WAY – sometimes the road of hard knocks just shows up – uninvited.
One’s absolute defining positive & negative moments, come @ the hands of others. How can one not believe, when experiencing a miracles first hand. To stand there knowing you should NOT still exsist – BUT do. Then on the other hand Negative happenings – being in a place where life was seen at one time as fantastic R&R – turns into HELL here on earth. I paid for R&R & came up violated – by those who were there to make life better – instead @ the hand of others – Hell here on Earth. (the Easy Way – Think NOT!!!!). These things are not chosen by one, hopefully endured by some, not bringing their desired bottom line to a head – a funeral – yours! (mine) Do I believe only ME, no to sufficicated to be anything but old hat.
So how we arrive with how we view life – can & does emerge piece by piece – one needs @ times to drop out & sort it all out. Different intensity on this journey – but Easy – I think NOT!!! Will it ever be – I try to see life on the real plain – not delivered with a bow on top. (the present) Like I said @ the beginning – I don’t have the answers & I’m not sure if anyone here on earth does either. Maybe – there’s always Hope. AS long as there is God there will be hope in my world. Thank you for listening to my thoughts. Peace , & God Bless. K


marquis June 18, 2013 at 6:56 am

This is something my therapist and I discussed. I told her as children, we get our identity from our mothers (Mean Mothers by Peg Streep said the same thing in her book) and this is how we form ourselves. I grew up with no identity whatsoever and people would ask me who are you? That is a very good question.

In my sessions, I told my therapist how I don’t know anything about myself. I wasn’t taught much of anything as a little girl as me and my siblings were basically slaves to our parents. I grew up with a lot of negativity and that is what I am “accustom” to think/feel, it was like a survival mechanism. I am learning to be positive step by step and I don’t know any other aspects about myself – like talents.

I told my therapist I just feel smart or “gifted” like Albert Einstein. I do have a lot of self-doubt about myself and what I can and can’t do. This is why my therapist has me to go volunteer to learn more about myself…


Neseret June 19, 2013 at 4:24 am

Volunteering is a great idea. The journey of self discovery is ongoing. It is a process. Be patient with yourself. Clarity will come with healing and with time. You’re on the right track with all that you have learned thus far about the journey of healing and making sense of what happened and how it impacted you. This will ensure that who you are and your life is not dictated by your trauma.


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