Romantic Relationships – Communication

by Neseret on July 9, 2011

Adopted Sisters Visit June 18, 201120When I speak, I speak from my heart.

When you speak, I listen with my heart.

~ The Book of Relationship Runes ~

Sometime back an acquaintance of mine was reading a book entitled “The Book of Relationship Runes”. I’ve heard of Runes before but not relationship Runes particularly. A few years ago I went to a small bookstore at downtown Halifax named “Little Mysteries”. I ended up getting a reading with a gentleman by the name of Steve. I got the whole thing done – hand reading, Tarot, and Runes.

I ended up asking this person if she could do a Relationship Rune for me. She agreed. I basically randomly pulled out, without looking, three Runes – small wooden blocks with a certain symbol inscribed on them from a bag that contained several blocks. Then the lady gave me a photocopy of the description/meaning of each of the Runes.

Ironically these three Relationship Runes were things I really needed to work on in my life. I’ve read and reflected on them since then. I reread them often. I believe these three Runes are critical part of building a healthy relationship. They are the foundation of any strong relationship, romantic or otherwise. I also realized the principles taught can apply not only to my own relationship but to many people’s relationship.

So in light of the upcoming Valentine’s day I am going to go ahead and share them with you. Wherever you are in your relationship journey I hope these simple yet profound words of wisdom will be a gentle reminder and guide to you.

The first Rune I pulled out was called “Ansuz” and it stands for Communication.

“In the ancient runic tradition, Ansuz stood for the mouth of a river and for the mouth as a source of utterances. In the context of meaningful relationships, this Rune supports our ability to connect with, listen to and understand one another.

A loving relationship is created over time by the sharing of experiences, by honoring the differences between you, and by your willingness to support each other’s dreams. For all this to occur, listening with and speaking from the heart is essential.

Listening – is a life preserver in the white water of meaningful relationships. Therefore take Ansuz as a reminder to listen with courtesy, sensitivity, and equally important, without interrupting.

Since relationships are fertile ground for misunderstandings and confilict, it is only natural for two people who love each other to have serious disagreements from time to time. Keep in mind that difficult truths are easier to take in small doses.

Make a commitment with your partner – or anyone with whom you have a caring relationship – to stay present, to be brief, and to show respect by hearing each other out.

Sometimes when you receive the Rune of communication, you are simply being reminded to check in with one another. When was the last time you really talked? Is there some sensitive issue you are avoiding?

Whatever the case maybe, many people find it useful to set aside a special time to discuss what is happening in their lives – the successes and the joys, the losses and the sorrows. Intimacy thrives when we share with each other what we are experiencing and feeling.

If you find yourself under pressure, pay close attention to your tone of voice, for tone is often more telling than words. Is your voice free of impatience and irritation? Free of judgement and expectations?

When your tone is critical, or if you continue to bring the past during discussions of the present, it will be difficult for the other person to avoid feeling defensive or to really hear what you are saying.

Invariably there will be times when communication breaks down, leaving one or both of you frustrated, angry, or in pain.

When either of you is upset by the words or actions of the other, rather than withdrawing or going on the attack, make a conscious effort to express clearly what you are feeling.

If however, the emotions between you are already too strong to allow for rational discussion, it maybe helpful to simply agree to disagree, call time out, and come together again when you have both calmed down.

And then there is the gift of humor. When laughter and humor are an integral part of your relationship, they can serve as medicine for healing what ails you.

So remember to laugh at yourself and to look for the humor in tense situations. Being able to laugh at the same things – at least some of the time – is vital to the health of any meaningful relationship.

Whatever your issue maybe, know that, in time, this too shall pass. And while situations change, the goal remains the same: to listen always with your heart, to speak always from your heart.

How wonderful to be listened to in this manner. How nourishing to be spoken to in this way.” ~ The Book of Relationship Runes ~

PLEASE share your comments down below! I’d love to hear from you! And please also share this post on twitter or fb if you liked it! Thanks so much for spending time with me here today!

Blessings and Peace,

Neseret,

 

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