Romantic Relationships – Commitment

by Neseret on July 10, 2011

Yellow Rose
True Partnership is achieved only by separate and whole beings who retain their separateness even as they unite. Remember to let the winds of heaven dance between you. ~ The Book of Runes, Partnership ~

In Faith and love I renew my commitment to you this day.

In the ancient runic tradition, Gebo signified a gift – a gift given by the Norse gods to humankind, or gifts bestowed by chieftains upon their loyal followers. In the context of meaningful relationships, this translates as the gifts we give to one another, gifts of love, respect and trust upon which to build a life together.

With this Rune we are in the province of the faithful heart. When you say to your partner “I am committed to you,”

it is a declaration that the two of you are now “we.”

It is a pledge that you are prepared to give this relationship everything you’ve got – your love, your attention, your respect, your willingness to do whatever it takes to work things out in times of difficulty.

Although the inability to commit is a common problem, so is committing too soon. Sometimes passion and is attendant fantasies lure us in to making a commitment to someone we hardly know. And while it is possible to get lucky, don’t count on it. Give yourselves time to get to know each other in some depth before you commit.

What makes for a lasting relationship in these times of turbulent change?

Since the quality of our agreements determines the strength of any enduring relationship, begin by making clear agreements.

Sit together, with expert help if need be, and establish your priorities. Then write down your intentions and goals, making certain that important conditions, boundaries, and obligations are acceptable to you both.

When two people are committed to building a relationship, their first agreement must be to never intentionally hurt one another. And yet we are all human, we all make mistakes.

So if you are feeling a strong emotional reaction to something your partner has said or done, rather than withdrawing, going on the attack, or defending yourself, take the time to consider your own role in what has happened.

Ask yourself: Why am I so angry? Why am I feeling hurt? What is this situation telling me about myself?

Take the intensity of your own reaction as compelling evidence that something unresolved within you is calling for your attention and needs to be lifted in to the light of understanding.

All too often, it is our unspoken agreements – expectations we take for granted, assumptions we fail to discuss – that cause resentments to build. So if the needle is edging in to the red, begin by letting go of your need to be right. Then speak from your heart and listen with your heart.

Explore together how the two of you got off track. What you learn will help you to do things differently from now on.

If however, the present challenge brings up painful memories of past failures, take heart and say to yourself: That was then, and this is now, and I am not that person anymore.

For some of us, receiving Gebo is a call to evaluate the quality of our present commitment.

Do you feel cherished? Do you cherish your partner?

Do both of you continue to honor your vows or are they dying of neglect?

Although it sometimes takes courage to share with your partner the truth of what you are feeling, the ability and willingness to do so is to honor the Relationship.

And while this Rune both encourages and supports commitment, it also carries a warning against collapsing yourselves in to one another. So be mindful to give your partner the freedom to explore who they are in the world – without jealousy, without the need for them to change or do things differently. Once again remember to let the winds of heaven dance between you.

Commitment to one another is the essential first step in establishing a lasting relationship. It is the foundation for marriage.

And yet what you are actually committing to is the sacred nature of relationship itself. So be grateful for the support and opportunities for growth that union with your beloved brings.

When you hold fast to your partner in loyalty and respect, the heart of relationship is full, nourishment is everywhere, and even the ordinary brings a blessing.

PLEASE share your comments down below! I’d love to hear from you! And please also share this post on twitter or fb if you liked it! Thanks so much for spending time with me here today!

Blessings and Peace,

Neseret

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