Overcoming Negative Self Talk

by Neseret on February 5, 2012

Project 52 - Week 5 - RougeEverytime you decide to do something good and worthwhile for yourself and for others you may experience a critical, harsh voice that says,

“Who Do You Think You Are?”

This is part of what is called  “negative self talk”. I believe most women and human beings in general experience this at one point or another in their lives.

However women that have experienced severe trauma in their lives (ie: any type of abuse – physical, verbal, emotional, sexual) may experience it more frequently and intensely.

Regardless of your experience with trauma if you are a woman on a mission and want to accomplish something important to you and you’re having this voice or something similar, know you are not alone!!!

There are many variations of this critical voice when you’re attempting to do something great!

Few More Examples of Negative Self Talk…

“You can’t do that!”

“You don’t have what it takes to do that!”

“You’re not good enough”

Ways To Change Your Negative Self Talk

The best way I know how to overcome negative self talk is to first be aware of it.

Being aware of your thoughts and feelings is one of the foundation principles of healing.

Once you are aware and identify your negative self talk challenge it!

Is this true? Is there any evidence to support this thought? Is this thought helpful or harmful? Are there evidences to the contrary?

Use Affirmations to Replace the Negative Self Talk

Affirmations are a great way to combat negative self talk. Affirmations are positive, helpful, realistic, and loving statements you repeat to yourself.

Overtime positive affirmations will replace the negative self talk.

Affirmations are reminders of your true/higher self.

Examples of positive affirmations in this instance could be something like

“I am capable, lovable, and worthy!”

“I am more than good enough!”

“I have what it takes to do whatever I want in my life.”

“I CAN do it!”

Now go ahead and write your own affirmations and move forward and do the things that matter to you.

Please leave me your questions and comments below! What is your experience with negative self talk? What has helped you overcome negative self talk?

If you find this article helpful please share it on Facebook and Twitter! I thank you for taking the time to visit with me here today.

Peace, Love & Gratitude,


{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Melody | Deliberate Receiving February 5, 2012 at 9:27 pm

He Neseret,

I couldn’t agree more! I think the biggest hurdle is realizing how nasty we can be to ourselves. That’s generally a huge revelation. I like to run everything through the filter of what I’d say to a small, defenseless child that I love dearly. Would I speak to that child in this tone? Would I chastise them for the simplest mistake? Of course not. I’d be loving and understanding and forgiving. It’s amazing how much better we start to feel when we change the way we speak to ourselves.

Great job!
Huge hugs,



Neseret February 5, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Hi Melody,

I LOVE that example and those questions! Each and every one of us deserve that same compassion, understanding, and love that we so reaily give to most everyone and ofcourse small children.

Learning to accept, love and treat ourselves with respect, dignity, and compassion is what the journey of hope and healing are all about.

In relation to the law of attraction when we treat ourselves this way we will automatically feel great and treat others the same way.

FEELING GOOD is GREAT!!! Thank you for visiting with me here today!

Peace, Love & Gratitude,



Sandra / Always Well Within February 7, 2012 at 1:11 am

Warm Greetings, Neseret,

I find it intriguing that people who have experienced trauma actually may experience more negative self talk. Thank you for sharing that illuminating fact with us. Yes, negative self talk has been a factor in my life too. Affirmations are a wonderful approach. I’m working with simply being aware and dropping the thoughts when they arise. Thanks for your encouragement!


Neseret February 7, 2012 at 1:25 am

Hi Sandra,

It is true. Often individuals who have lived with constant criticisim which is a form of abuse/trauma eventually learn to internalize the criticisim and shame. They feel as though they’re never good enough, smart enough, fast enough and the list goes on.

They believe they have to be “perfect” and or better than everyone else just to be equal. If they do something well, they tell themselves it was nothing, it was easy.

I think we all do these things at some point or another and to some degree but when you come from a place of living with harsh criticism for a prolonged period of time it can be very challenging.

Mindfulness teachings and practises are wonderful! It is part of what has helped me tremendously to overcome my negative self talk. I’m currently co-facilitating a mindfulness based relapse prevention to people struggling with addiction issues. Awareness of thoughts, feelings and emotions is the core principle of the program I’m teaching.

Thank you for visiting with me today. Namaste.



tom March 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm

thanks for touching on this very critical things that affect our lives,am a victim of not bealiving in my self,but thanks u touching on them,through reading books and now you,i shall be able to reach higher thanks so much


Neseret March 6, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Hi Tom,

You’re very welcome! Yes our internal dialogue affects how we view ourselves, how wee feel and what we do. It is very important to make sure our self talk is positive and helpful. Know you’re not alone in struggling with this. Glad to hear that you’re feeling like you’re finding help and moving forward. Thank you for visiting here and sharing!

Peace, Love & Gratitude,



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