Letting Go of What No Longer Serves You

by Neseret on June 25, 2012

If you feel blocked, Mannaz urges you to begin by being clear with yourself. Do not turn to others now, but look inside, in silence, for the enemy of your progress. No matter what area of your life is in disarray, stop and consider; you will recognize the outer enemy as but a reflection of what you have not, until now, been able or willing to recognize as coming from within. Above all do not give yourself airs. Breaking the momentum of past habits is the challenge here. In the life of the spirit, you are always at the beginning. ~ The book of Runes by Ralph H. Blum ~

I am the source of all my struggles and problems. Hence the enemy of my own progress!

For the longest time I blamed my past, my mother, others, God and everything in between as the causes of my unhappiness and problems in life. I often felt justified in my blame and anger. It’s easy to do so rather than to look within, to look in the mirror.

Breaking old habits is not easy, because it involves overcoming our addictions. It also involves letting go of what no longer serves us and embracing our shadow.

It is safe to look within. ~ Louise L Hay ~

Nothing that’s inside of you is terrible. Who you truly are is always acceptable, lovable, and good. Everything else is a mask, the ego, the false self.

Your shadow is your teacher. It’s a part of you that is there to help you learn the lessons of your life. And what are the lessons? Love, peace, acceptance, compassion, forgiveness, non-judgment, patience, humility, courage, service…

There is a part of me that thinks I’ve come so far, yet I know I am at the beginning. I am a student. I’m learning every day.

Taking my own advice…

I recognize I have a tendency to judge, to be in the past, to look at the negative and to neglect myself and my needs. It’s easy to tell my clients that the foundation of healing is self-care. That it is important to not be too critical on yourself and others, to let go of the past and focus on the positive.

There are times when I get off track and I have to remind myself of all of these things. Like getting caught up in the excitement of discovering my passion and working for 4 weeks in a row without a day off, almost to exhaustion.

Of course there’s also my day to day struggle to focus on the positive. It is so easy to bitch, and complain just about anything! However, to shift my attention to what is going right and to be grateful in each moment consistently is a challenge.

Relationships are great mirrors…

Every relationship is a mirror. Romantic, friendship, parenting, work, and business relationships. Although it might be easy to point the finger to the other person when things aren’t working, the solutions are never found there.

Even if the other person is in the wrong, you can’t do anything about their part. You can only take responsibility for your own thoughts, emotions, and behavior.

Ultimately what heals relationships is healing yourself. The relationship to our self is the template from which all other relationships are created.

Self-acceptance and self-love…

This is the beginning of healing and returning to wholeness. Knowing one’s self is a journey of discovery. It is an ongoing process.

Peace, Love & Gratitude,


PS: If you found this article helpful please leave me your comments and share it on Facebook and Twitter. Thanks:-)

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Toulouse July 12, 2012 at 12:00 am

Greetings Ms/Mrs. Bemient:

Someone had forwarded a clip of your video over a week ago. I just saw the video in its entirety just today. Although it is several years late, it’s still a valuable information to share with others.

Almost 3 years ago I lost my childhood friend who I grew up with to bipolar disorder. She had been struggling with this condition for over two decades. In spite of her tragic death, I consider her to be one of the lucky ones. Why?? Because her family was not in denial and she did not have to hide it as a result. Rather, she was a Biology major, she knew everything there was about her own dilemma. I learned about bipolar and how debilitating it could be through her own nightmare of a life when she would have her episodes. I read books which she had suggested, medical journals, etc. to educate myself more. But at the end of the day, no-one really knows when a person is going to take their life. She was pronounced dead after we had spoken hours before……my last farewell to my best friend who defied death for as long as she humanly could.

To this day, from what I have read thus far, even the professionals are dumbfounded when they lose a patient. Almost all of the medications, treatments, etc. are still hit or miss and not a solution. In the African community it’s such a taboo families turn to traditional methods or to their spiritual leaders in hopes of finding a cure. I am quite certain it’s similar if not worse in other traditional cultures. Mental health is usually associated with evil spirit or family curse; therefore, medicine has no place altogether.

There is a non-profit organization in Boston that is run by an Ethiopian woman. I met her years ago during my visit there, it was quite an experience. She had shared her concern about how there are a lot of incidents where people had taken their own lives as a result of mental health issues, mostly from bipolar disorder. There have been a lot of deaths of recent in the Ethiopian community but are not discussed due to the shame and desperation of privacy. But I have been very vocal with those who have asked for help. I am also forwarding your info (website) to my contact in Boston so she can get a professional view at her finger tips.

Thank you for acknowledging such an issue that is close to home to millions. I still ponder in questions that remain unanswered.



Neseret July 12, 2012 at 3:01 am

Hi Toulouse,

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. It is great to hear that she had the support of a wonderful and understanding friend like yourself and her family. That is a lot more than most people get who struggle with mental illness and addiction issues.

Knowledge is power. Knowledge is what will eliminate stigma and ignorance. If only other people will take the time to educate themselves about mental health and mental illness then we wouldn’t have the stigma associated with mental illness. As I’ve often said it is hard enough to battle mental illness and addiction without the added layer of discrimination and stigma. It makes it impossible to cope.

That said, I agree with you that no one knows when someone will take their life. However we can provide as much support and love as possible while they are alive and that is all we can do. It sounds like you and her family gave her that wonderful gift. At the end of the day that is all that matters.

Treatment for mental illness and addiction are not effective because they are focused on one or two things. I believe a holistic approach is essential for recovery and healing. A holistic approach addresses past trauma, it addresses spirituality, it addresses relationship, it addresses lifestyle – it treats the person as a whole. Unfortunately to this very day the main mode of treatment in psychiatry is still medication and therapy. This is not nearly enough.

I hear what you mean about the issues in African communities. I grew up hearing about people being possessed and having an evil eye etc. When I look back now I realize those people were suffering from mental illness. I believe the only way to change those myths and misconceptins is through others speaking out. Thank you for taking the time to share your experience. What you have to say is very valueable.

Again, thank you for stopping by to visit with me here and for forwarding my info. to your friend in Boston. Wishing you many blessings and peace,



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