How to Forgive in Less Than Five Minutes…

by Neseret on January 10, 2016

Flower_1True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.”~ Oprah Winfrey ~

How long does it take to forgive?

To truly forgive and let go?

The person in need of forgiveness could be yourself or someone else or both.

Perhaps you’re disappointed or angry with yourself about something you did or failed to do. Maybe someone close to you deeply betrayed your trust or broke your heart in to a million little pieces. Maybe you were injured and violated by someone you didn’t even know or in an unexpected accident or disaster.

And now you’re left with feelings of resentment, sadness, guilt, anger or rage or the desire for revenge and or seeking some form of justice.

You wake up every day thinking about what happened. You have to cope with the aftermath of your own or someone else’s choices that continue to affect your health and wellbeing and or your relationship, and or your finances and ultimately your peace of mind.

So, how do you go from this place of pain, turmoil, and great suffering to a place of understanding, compassion, and forgiveness for yourself and others?

Indulge me just for a moment….I want you to imagine

Being completely at peace with what happened and accepting yourself and your mistakes without judgement.

Actually being grateful for this unfortunate situation, or tragedy or travesty?

How about feeling sincere gratitude and thanking the person who deeply wounded you?

Please hang with me here…

I know this simple exercise of imagining may illicit strong reactions…Just bear with me.

Essentially what I’m proposing as possible is akin to praying and blessing whoever is spiting in your face, taunting and driving nails in to your body and crucifying you at the proverbial cross!

Then said Jesus, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” ~ Luke 23:34 ~

Now, I can see many of you putting your hands in the air and asking,

“How?”

“How do I forgive?”

“Is it really possible to forgive this way?”

The answer is an unequivocal “Yes!”

It is possible for you to forgive and let go!

Some might be saying, “Forgive? Forget it. I’ll never forgive myself for this. I’ll never forgive this person for what they did. No way!”

Of course, your reaction will depend on where you are on your journey.

Whatever your reaction is fine. It’s not right or wrong.

However, right now, I strongly propose you consider the possibility of forgiveness.

And why would you want to forgive?

Because the price of not forgiving is too heavy a burden to carry. It is much heavier than whatever happened.

It may not seem that way to you right now but I heard a saying once, if you’re angry longer than 10 minutes you are suffering. And if you don’t know how to forgive yourself or others in less than five minutes you’re suffering greatly.

It took me 20 years to forgive someone who I perceived deeply wounded me. But that experience taught me the greatest lessons of my life – mainly about love and forgiveness.

I’ve also forgiven myself for holding on to resentment and anger for so many years. I realized I had already paid a dear price.

Holding on to resentment and anger wrecks a havoc in your body, mind, relationships and spirit. It contaminates every aspect of your life. For some, it cost them their very life.

As we learn to recognize our perceptual errors, we also learn to look past them or “forgive.” ~ The Course in Miracles ~

So, what is the first step in learning to forgive with grace and ease?

The first step is the desire to forgive, let go, and to stop suffering.

Then it is the recognition that as human beings we all make mistakes but to not take that so personally. Harmful actions always come out of ignorance and or innocence. Both are the same.

When someone does something destructive, hurtful, and harmful, it is to know that this is about what’s going on within them. It has very little to do with you.

No one coming from a place of peace, love, and harmony will ever harm anything or anyone in the slightest. When people are being destructive or hurtful it is because they’re coming from a place of pain, and woundedness.

This is not to excuse their actions or choices but it is a recognition of the “error” of their ways as it is the recognition of the “error” of our own ways.

Forgiveness means the willingness to look at the error of your own ways or others with understanding and compassion instead of judgement.

Now, take a step back, and look past the behavior and look further in to why you do the things you do and why others do the things they do. I love the study of human psychology. It is incredibly fascinating. The truth has many perspectives, many sides, and multiple dimensions.

Forgiveness is unknown in Heaven, where the need for it would be inconceivable. However, in this world, forgiveness is a necessary correction for all the mistakes that we have made. To offer forgiveness is the only way for us to have it, for it reflects the law of Heaven that giving and receiving are the same. ~ The Course in Miracles ~

Forgiveness is about the awareness and acceptance of our perfectly imperfect human nature. It is to be comfortable with being human.

When we are willing to accept our humanity then we can extend the same for others.

Forgiveness means practicing love. When you’re willing to forgive, you make love more important than being right.

When you’re willing to forgive, it means you value peace more than drama and pain. You’re willing to let go of that which no longer serves you.

Ultimately, forgiveness is about love. It is the recognition we are all connected. Eckhart Tolle beautifully said it as, “there is no other”. There’s only ONE that manifests as many. You and I are the same. Whatever I do to you, I do to myself.

Please feel free to share your thoughts about forgiveness below. Thank you.

Peace, love and gratitude,

Neseret

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