How Does a Great Romantic Relationship Feel Like?

by Neseret on January 1, 2013

“It is easy to be who I am…It is easy to be in this relationship….It feels real…It feels secure…It feels true…It feels comfortable…It feels good…It feels like love….It feels like HOME…”

How does your  romantic relationship feel like?

 

Does it feel like a struggle? Does it feel hard? Does your relationship feel like an uphill battle? Does it feel more painful than not? Does it feel fragile? Does it feel insecure? Do you ever wonder how a great relationship would feel like?

When you come from a place of experiencing unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships it is difficult to know how a great romantic relationship would feel like. Many of us grow up without having inspiring role models when it comes to romantic relationships. So many people have serious misconceptions, misunderstandings, and unrealistic expectations when it comes to romantic relationships. Part of the reason why there is high divorce rate and so much turmoil in relationships today. That said, most of us intuitively imagine and sense what a good relationship would feel like. It would obviously feel GOOD!

So why do people stay in unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships?

There are myriads of reasons why people stay in unhealthy and unfulfilling romantic relationships. Anything from staying “for the kids” to “financial reasons” to “fear of being alone” to “fear of not finding someone else” etc. The list goes on…. Ultimately why people settle for less than an amazing romantic relationship boils down to a few factors.

Fear

Fear is a natural emotion that we all experience as human beings. It is also what holds many of us back from becoming who we truly are.  When we are operating from a place of fear and vulnerability in relationships we’re often selfish, demanding, controlling, and sometimes abusive. On the other hand we withhold love from others by being cynical, paranoid, cold, and mistrustful.

A scarcity mindset makes us believe that we won’t find someone else who will treat us better. We think this maybe “as good as it gets”. We’re afraid of being alone. We maybe afraid of becoming independent and taking care of ourselves. We are afraid of growing up.

Feelings of Unworthiness

When we come from being in codependent and unhealthy relationships in our early childhood relationships we tend to believe that we deserve to be treated badly. We believe we are bad because our parents treated us badly. We do not believe we deserve to be respected or loved. When what we have experienced is negative and unhealthy in our early childhood we often continue the same patterns because they feel familiar and comfortable. We do not know any different.

Disconnection from Self

When we haven’t taken the time to heal our wounds and connect with who we truly are, we are limited in our ability to connect with others. The foundation of a great romantic relationship is two whole beings coming together to form a partnership. Romantic relationships are most challenging between two individuals who haven’t found peace within.

Romantic relationships are a joy when you have two people coming together who have a good sense of themselves and have done considerable amount of self development. That is not to say you have to be “perfect” before you can enjoy a great romantic relationship. However it means the more inner work you do in becoming the best version of who you are the easier it is to attract and connect with someone who is on the same wavelength.

Each and every one of us have the potential for creating and maintaining great romantic relationships. We’re each capable of enjoying a great romantic relationship. The quality of a great romantic relationship is determined by the quality of the two individuals coming together and what they put in to the relationship.

Peace, Love & Gratitiude,

Neseret

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