Healing Relationships

by Neseret on July 2, 2011

Bay Pointe PinkA relationship is more of an assignment than a choice. We can walk away from the assignment but we can not walk away from the lesson it presents. We stay with a relationship until a lesson is learned, or we simply learn it another way. ~ Marianne Williamson

Relationships  are hard enough under ideal circumstance but especially when you come from a place of broken trust. It is not uncommon to recreate the environment of your primary relationships especially if they were unhealthy and toxic. This is what is familiar, what you knew and what feels like home.

In the beginning the challenge is learning to accept, love and trust yourself. Relationships are painful when you do not know who you are. When you don’t have a good sense of yourself it is nearly impossible to truly know another human being.

You can’t give people what you don’t have. Love starts with you. Acceptance starts with accepting yourself! Learning to give to yourself  is not selfish, but it is the beginning of a wonderful journey of learning to give to others.

All relationships are mirrors. Healing relationships are those that challenge and sometimes force you  to grow. Every person that comes in to your life is there to teach you something! Ask yourself, What is this person here to teach me?

Even the most painful relationships are the ones that teach us the greatest lessons in our lives. Do relationships have to be painful? Of course not! Relationships can be beautiful and healing. When people have healed their own wounds and are able to accept, and love themselves then they can create magnificent relationships. Not perfect relationships, but beautiful relationships.

People are not perfect and so relationships are not perfect. However when you have taken the time to heal your own wounds. When you have taken the time to really know yourself and love yourself you are in a much better position to give and love another.

Ultimately the best gift you can give others is being who you truly are. The best gift you can give others is healing your own wounds. The best gift you can give the world is loving yourself! It all begins with you. It is not about the other person. Whoever you’re in the relationship with and whatever their flaws and faults maybe is only responsible for themselves. Your happiness depends on you.

Healing relationships are created between people who are striving to heal their own wounds. Healing relationships are created when two separate but whole beings come together.

Please take time now to share your thoughts about healing relationships. I’d love to hear your experience of healing relationships. Leave me your comments below. Also pass this article forward to people who may benefit.

Peace, Love & Gratitude,


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Kip de Moll July 2, 2011 at 3:14 am

For 20 years, I stayed in a co-dependent relationship that was very emotionally destructive and painful because, as you said, it was familiar territory and difficult to face the unknown of a different life. I changed, however, and followed my heart, spending 15 months on my own, rediscovering important parts of the man I used to be. For the last 2 years, I have had an amazing friendship with a wonderful woman, closer than most couples, though we have been platonic. Around all the fun, we have also hurt each other, disagreed and suffered misunderstandings, and the process of working through and coming back to center has been an incredible time of healing. An amazing love story so different than I could ever imagine, she has held the space for me to revive and become a man once again worth loving.


Neseret July 2, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Hi Kip, I believe spending time on your own is one of the best things you can do to prepare for a relationship. Getting to know yourself well is the best foundation for a healthy relationship. Many people have fear of being alone. However when you make the decision to be alone overtime you’ll learn there is nothing to fear. You’ll actually learn to enjoy your alone time. As far as your relationship with this lady, it sounds very beautiful and special. No need to define it or label it. Also know that even people who really care and love each other very much will end up hurting one another from time to time. Every relationship contains some pain but when the pain outweighs the good the relationship becomes toxic. Thank you so much for sharing your story Kip. Blessings and Peace.


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